The five words I was given to work with were liver, yeah, that’s a fairly normal word, but then we get boner, flaccid, cum and ploba. Strange individuals, I must say! Lets excuse the fact you’re all horny buggers and justify your choices with the fact you’re all very interested in the male of the anatomy. (You science nerds)

Drinking drinking drinking
Spoiling my liver
Rather horny but I’m flaccid
But not much of a pleasure giver

Started to get a boner
I grew with excite
If I could just keep it steady
I could go on all night

There was a man that died of heavy masturbation
42 times, they made it known to the nation
He died from the excess
What a legend I must stress
I bet the cum amounts were large
There’s a man who knows who take charge

And then there’s ploba, my last word
Not a clue what it means, I’m sure the definition is absurd
Seeing as you’re all really randy
Let’s say it’s an underwear made of candy

By the way, thought I’d state that I did not really come up with the idea of making such a strange song, I asked people what they wanted to write a song about, added all their ideas together, and it came to “not being able to fall back to sleep on a weekend morning because you are craving mash potato dipped in peanut butter and bananas, therefore wanting to kill yourself.”

Ever wake up in the morning craving some mash?
Wanna stuff your face but you’ve ran out of cash.

Wanna go back to sleep, but craving some food
You’re in a banana, mash potato, peanut butter kinda mood.

Peanut butter on the mash, PHWOAR what a tasty treat
Can’t get out of bed, so how you gonna eat?

Hope your bed falls through the floor?
Hope it lands next to the kitchen door?
Being tired helps no one, you’re a stupid lazy whore.

Thinkin’ bout that food makes you want to ejaculate
I’m actin’ like a gangsta, wanting food on my plate.

So I get up out my bed, in an attempt to get some food
I’m on a mashy mission, if I’m out of mash I’m screwed

So I get into my kitchen, I open my drawer
I’m out of mash potato so I steal some from next door

They call the police, they put me in jail
They’ve got no mash potato, what an epic fail.

I wanted peanut butter, I was so sad I cried,
that’s when I lost my mind and attempted suicide

“Bananas!” I screamed, the food that I once dreamed

I was back to square one, ended up in a hospital bed,
Wouldnt it have been easier, if I wanted pie instead?

So, the moral of the story is, don’t be lazy, and don’t steal mash potato, and learn to improvise.

If you like playing with crayons, this is the song for you.

I sometimes think I’m an animal because I love giraffes
My neck is rather long, infact, it gets a lot of laughs
Its fun to be a chicken because they always say “cluck, cluck”
But best of all, I start to crawl, and say that I’m a duck

I’d like to be a pig, because I love their tails
I’d like to be a fish, because I love their scales
I’d like to be a spider because then I’d have eight legs
I’d like to be a chicken because then I could lay eggs

Some people wanna be builders
Some people wanna be spacemen
But nothings better than coming home, and to pretend that I’m a hen

My friend wants to be fruit, how stupid is that?
Anyway I’m off, it’s time to be a cat.

We’re a huge sucess, and
We like to play chess
We will win the game
‘Cause Bless this Chess is our name
When we touch the board
We know we’ll get a reward
Because you lost the chess bet
So you know we’re a threat (bitch!)

Some people call me a nerd (what?!)
But Chess Master is preffered
And when I move my queen
They’ll think I’m the best they’ve ever seen
BREAK IT DOWN

Chess club, ‘cause you know we’re too cool
Chess club, because you know we’re old school
Chess club, I play games by myself
Chess club, then it goes back on the shelf
 
My board will never grow dust
Because playing every day is a must
‘Cause if I wanna impress
I need to keep playing chess

Chess club, ‘cause you know we’re too cool
Chess club, because you know we’re old school
Chess club, I play games by myself
Chess club, then it goes back on the shelf

The girls are lining up to see me win a chess show
Because I am so good, oh yeah, they know I’m a pro
They all know I’m the chess master I need a crown
My name is Andy Six Boner I like to break it down

OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

This is terrible, by far one of the worst things I’ve wrote. It was extremely hard.

www.twitter.com/AndySixBoner

Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh
Do the Black Veil Brides dance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma-roma-ma
Blah-blah-ooh-la-la
Do the Black Veil Brides dance x2

Andy’s not ugly
No, he’s not a disease
Infact he’s beautiful
Gaga smells of cheese
Don’t want her love
Love, love, love, don’t want her love

Turn on the iPod
With the touch of my hand
Dance like an idiot to the BVB band
The band I love
Love, love, love the band I love.

You know that I want you
You know that I need you
I want it bad
Wanna do the BVB dance

[Chorus]

“I love your band!” say the BVB fans
as they do the BVB dance
(oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhhh-oh-oh-ohhhh-oh-oh)
“I love your band!” say the BVB fans
as they do the BVB dance
Do the BVB dance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh
Do the Black Veil Brides dance

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma-roma-ma
Blah-blah-ooh-la-la
Do the Black Veil Brides dance

It can’t be bad if you are Mr Six
He plays his show as he gets raped by some chicks
The band I love
Love, love, love, the band I love

Some girls go psycho
They are there for his dick
Pull down his trousers
Tryna get a good lick
The band I love
Love, love, love, the band I love
 
You know that I want you
You know that I need you
I want it bad
Wanna do the BVB dance

[Chorus]

“I love your band!” say the BVB fans
as they do the BVB dance
(oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhhh-oh-oh-ohhhh-oh-oh)
“I love your band!” say the BVB fans
as they do the BVB dance
Do the BVB dance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh
Do the Black Veil Brides dance x2

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma-roma-ma
Blah-blah-ooh-la-la
Do the Black Veil Brides dance x2

Sing, sing, concert baby
BVB make me cr-cr-crazy x4

BVB I love
To their concert I go
You can go too
As long as you’re not a hoe

*Skips French crap*

[Chorus]

“I love your band!” say the BVB fans
as they do the BVB dance
(oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhhh-oh-oh-ohhhh-oh-oh)
“I love your band!” say the BVB fans
as they do the BVB dance
Do the BVB dance

Oh-oh-oh-oh-ooooh-oh-oh-oooh-oh
Do the Black Veil Brides dance x2


Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma-roma-ma
Blah-blah-ooh-la-la
Do the Black Veil Brides dance x2

The End

P.S, don’t ask what the ‘Black Veil Brides dance’ is because I don’t know, this is a hard song to change. I guess it’s moshing and that thing Andy does, which all of you are probably like “whaaaaaaaaat thing?” right now.

www.twitter.com/AndySixBoner

How to find the area of a rectangle I hear you say
Length times height, that’s the way!
What about a triangle? They arent as easy.
Length x height divided by two. Still pretty easy, still rather breezy.

What is the perimeter? It means round the outside
Add up all the measurements, but not the area inside.

Finding the area of a circle? Dont be scared.
It’s pretty easy, pi times radius squared.

What about circumference, is that the same?
No that’s pi times diameter idiot, get off your video game.

A single letter represents a length, that’s the way its done
As for the numbers, act like there is none.
Two letters times by each other is an area, remember that.
Three letters is a volume, simple as that.

What about triangles? I wanna work out one side.
A squared plus B squared = C squared, square root it, it’s a lot like divide.

What about brackets, and the volume of X?
These can sometimes be pretty complex
The bigger letter can stay where it is,
But that’s not all, this isnt no quiz.
If you ever change sides, change the signs.
If its plus its now a minus, now you’re doing just fines.

 Then there’s inequalities, less than and more than
Less looks like a sideways L, if you cant do it now you can.

What is in integer? It’s a number that’s whole
Learn this or you’ll be living on the dole

That’s all for today, just remember this song,
Your own private maths lesson, now you cant get it wrong.

Mary had a little lamb
Yeah who cares? Who gives a damn.
Well, I’m sure Mary does.
And she’ll laugh if you fail this exam.

Now go and pass.
Or I’ll kick your ass

Love, Boner.

Various Songs…Destroyed

www.twitter.com/AndySixBoner

When I see your face
I wanna spray my eyes with mace
You think you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
It makes me run a mile
You think you’re amazing
Just the way you are

[Bruno Mars, Just The Way You Are]

I wanna play truth or dare, so frickin’ bad
Get drunk and then make out with your dad
I wanna be on the cover of, a porn magazine
Right next to a sexy naked teen

Oh every time I close my eyes
I spread my legs, unzip my flies
Think of someone pretty every night oh
I, I swear, the world better prepare
For when I play truth or dare

[Travie McCoy, Billionaire]

You think I’m gritty
Even with make up on
You think its funny
That I’ve been alone so long
But you dont get me
I cant help look like a clown [clown]

Before you met me
You watched Star Trek
And you were kinda heavy
And you had a wife
Now every February
You’ll be my valentine, valentine.

[Katy Perry, Teenage Dream]

Where did I go wrong?
I killed my friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness and I
Would have stayed away, from you all night
Had I’d known, I would take your life.

[The Fray, How To Save A Life]

Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhhh-oh-oh-oh
Caught in a bad bromance

Rah-rah-rah-ah-ah
Roma-roma-mama
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la
Come here, take off your pants

You are so ugly
You are a disease
You think you’re everything
But I dont agree
Dont want your love
[love-love-love dont want your love]

You think that I want you
You think that I need you
You’re such a bad, such a bad bromance

[Lady Gaga, Bad Romance]